A safe place to send the text
When you want to text him, text us instead.
Delete his number. Save ours.
For the woman who loves someone who isn't free to love her back the way she deserves. Save our number, reach for it when the urge hits, and get a reply that helps you choose yourself.
How it works
Sign up and save the number
Save it in your phone under his name. When your thumb goes looking for him, it finds us.
Text us in the moment
Day or night, send what you would have sent him. Say all of it. It stays here.
Get a reply that holds you steady
Honest encouragement and one small next step, so the urge passes and you keep your peace.
Text a word, get what you need
Not sure what to say? Send one of these, or just type whatever you're feeling.
When he's on your mind and you want to reach out.
When he picked up, texted back, or reached out first.
When you're about to call, or already dialing.
When you wanted to reach out to him and didn't. We'll celebrate every win and milestone with you.
You only have to not send the text.
Every message you send here instead is a little more of your peace and dignity coming back to you. And it makes room for a love that never has to hide.
Questions to sit with
There are no wrong answers. Write them in your journal, say them out loud, or text your answer to us.
- 1What am I hoping will happen when I reach out to him? Has it ever happened?
- 2How do I feel an hour after we talk: fuller, or emptier than before?
- 3What would I tell my best friend if she were living my story?
- 4What have I put on hold while I've been waiting for him?
- 5What does the love I deserve look like? Does what I have now come close?
- 6If I knew he would never leave his wife, girlfriend, or partner, what would I do differently starting today?
- 7Who in my life makes me feel chosen, and how can I spend more time with them?
- 8What is one small promise I can keep to myself this week?
- 9Has he made it seem like he's leaving his wife, girlfriend, or partner for me, or told me I'm a special part of his life but "it's complicated"? What has he actually done to change it?
Want more support?
The 10-Day No Contact Reset
Ten days with a Choose You Coach in your corner. One goal: no more reaching for him, and every day a little more of you coming back.
Texting us stays free. The Reset is for when you're ready to end it for good and want someone walking with you every step.
- Day 1 kickoff call: with your Choose You Coach: your story, your triggers, and what you want next
- Your Choose You Plan: a personal 10-day plan built around your hardest moments
- Your Promise to Me: a commitment you write in your own words, so you remember why you started
- Morning and evening check-ins: personal texts from your coach, Days 1 to 10
- Unlimited texting: a real person replies whenever the urge hits
- Online boundary support: help muting, unfollowing, or blocking so his posts stop pulling you back
- A daily reflection prompt: to journal through each night
- Day 10 closing call: celebrate how far you've come, reflect, and leave with a plan for the next 30 days
Get your Done Being the Option number
Sign up and we'll text you a welcome message right away. Save the number, and it's yours whenever you need it.
Or text START to (772) 255-1414.
If you're in crisis
Done Being the Option is peer encouragement, not therapy or emergency care. If you're thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you're in immediate danger, call 911.
Your messages stay private
We never share your number or what you write. Only our Choose You and Fresh Start Accountability Coaches read your messages.
Pass it on
Know someone who needs this?
To protect her privacy, we only text women who reach out to us first. So it means more coming from you. Send her this message in your own name, and she can text us whenever she's ready.
Ask us anything
No stupid questions
If you're wondering it, someone else already has too.
Will he know I texted you?
Never. He doesn't see your messages, and we never contact him or anyone in his life. This is just between you and us.
Am I texting a real person or a bot?
A real person. One of our Choose You or Fresh Start Accountability Coaches reads every message you send and replies to you personally. You're never just talking to a machine.
What should I save your number as?
Delete his number and save ours under his name. When you reach for him out of habit, you'll reach us instead.
Is this only for women involved with a married man?
No. It's for anyone stuck reaching for someone who can't fully be theirs: a married man, someone in a relationship, or an ex who keeps the door half open.
I already texted him today. Is it too late?
Not at all. Slipping doesn't erase your progress. Text us WEAK and we'll help you start again right now, without judgment.
What if he's the one reaching out to me?
Text us HE ANSWERED. You don't have to reply to him just because he texted. We'll help you sit with the feeling instead of acting on it.
Are you going to judge me?
No. You fell for someone, and now you're trying to choose yourself. That takes courage. We'll be honest with you, but always kind.
Is this therapy?
No. It's encouragement and accountability when the urge hits. If you're struggling with your mental health, a licensed counselor can help. If you're in crisis, call or text 988.
Does it cost anything?
Texting us is completely free. If you'd like deeper support, you can book a one-on-one phone session with a Choose You Coach. Together you'll talk through your situation, get clear on what you deserve, and make a plan to end things for good. A session is $125. Standard message and data rates from your carrier may apply.
How do I stop the texts?
Reply STOP anytime and the texts end right away. If you ever need us again, text START.
Ready to stop reaching for someone who can't fully be yours?
Whether he's your ex or someone who was never really available, we're here whenever you're ready.
Don't text him. Text us.